Harry potter and the techno world
by Save the last one
Summary: What would happen if technological advances intertwined with the wizarding world...? Read and find out, how everyone adapts to the crazy new world.
1. Chapter 1

Albus Dumbledore was having fun using social media, on his new wiz phone 2000.

"Ooh Harry just updated his status to single on wizard book!" Dumbledore squealed excitedly. "I guess Cho Chang was nothing special!" Dumbledore smirked to himself.

Moments later:

"OK I've done it, ..I just sent Harry James Potter. a friend request." Dumbledore said nervously as he wiped sweat from his brow.

The next day:

"Damn Harry has still not accepted my friend request, that dumb dickey!" Dumbledore proclaimed in outrage.

However it wasn't all bad news for Dumbledore. Ronald Weasely, Ginerva Weasely, and Filius Flitwick had all accepted Dumbledores earlier friend requests. Dumbledore danced around his office for a while, until he got back to work.

Getting back to work didn't mean that Dumbledore was going to do his job as Headmaster of Hogwarts school. No back to work meant sending nude pics of himself to his male friends on wizard book, and sending more friend requests.

Dumbledore had sent friend requests to about 40 people ( most of which were men) whom he knew, and admired. ( mostly for looks though.)

Dumbledore decided to hang things up, because his wizard phone had 2% battery. Dumbledore looked amazed, when he realized that he spent the whole day on his phone. "Who cares about that meeting with Cornelius, I'll just reschedule it...maybe if he accepts my friend request." Dumbledore Chimed as he went to bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Dumbledore shot out of bed the next morning with a fart, in a hurry to check his wizard phone.

Dumbledore squealed as he saw he had saw he had several notifications on his, phone, which indicated accepted friend requests on wizard book.

"Oooh Kingsley Shacklebolt has accepted my friend request!" Dumbledore mooed as he wiped a tear from his eye.

Dumbledore sat down on his bed and happily read the following names: "Molly Weasely ( the works #1 housewife), Ronald Weasely ( Gryffindor Golden boy), Ginerva Weasely ( super bitch 643). Dumbledore than read 12 more names all of which accepted his friend requests on wizard book.

Dumbledore put his phone back on the charger, and went to take a shower, until he realized something wrong:

" Harry didn't accept my friend request! " Dumbledore cried.

"Damn brat!" Dumbledore screeched as he went to go find Harry.

Harry was in the Great Hall, eating breakfast, with his fellow Ravenclaw friends,when he was slapped in the head by an angry Dumbledore.

"What the hell!" Harry said as he clutched his head.

"Shut up, sit down, and listen!" Dumbledore thundered.

"Alright, boy I sent you a friend request on wizard book, only to have you cancel it!" Dumbledore leered.

"Bug off, stop sending friend requests to kids you have a crush on!" Harry snapped.

"Listen here, you shit, either accept my friend request, or I'll kick your skinny little ass!" Dumbledore croaked.

Just then Harry got up and kicked Dumbledore in the stones.

"You little son of a bitch!" Dumbledore squirmed as he collapsed.

Moments later an extremely outraged Dumbledore stormed up to his office.

"Albus are you OK?" A voice asked concerned.

"Avada Kedavra!" Dumbledore said as he didn't even acknowledge who this person was.

Dumbledore then realized he needed to hide the body.

"Oh sorry Minerva!" Dumbledore said boredly as he threw the body of Minerva Mcgonnagal in a nearby abandoned classroom.

Dumbledore was now in depression from the incident with Harry earlier on. Trying to make things better Dumbledore but on a romantic comedy movie, in his brand soanking new 120" HD TV.

However before he could play the movie, there was a knock on his door, that would make Dumbledores day a little bit better.

"Come in!" Dumbledore sniffles.

"I got an order for Mr. Dumbledore, for his new laptop computer.

" ooo!" Dumbledore said excitedly.

"Have a good day, I'll be going now, the wizard sales person said.

"The hell you will!" Dumbledore barked as he locked the doors of his office, and approached the sales person menacingly.

"I can't just afresh man go, especially when he walks so willingly intk into my midst!" Dumbledore smiled evily, as his mouth resembled a parrots beak.

Before the guy could react, he was rugby tackled by Dumbledore. He then passed out as Dumbledore flipped him over, and prepared to have some sweet fun.


	3. Chapter 3

Dumbledore was grumpily browsing the web on his wiz phone.

Dumbledore then got an idea in his corroded, rotten mind.

"Ah I'll create a fake wiz book account and send Harry a friend request, he'll then accept and I can spy on him!" Dumbledore cackled.

"This is going to be cool!" Dumbledore belched to himself.

Dumbledore created the perfect fool proof fake account, he thought.

Name : Lennie Seville.

Occupation: assistant head of Amsterdam school of troubled wizards.

"That little bastard will for this!" Dumbledore wheezed and laughed maniacally, as he (Lennie) sent Harry a friend request.

Dumbledore then looked behind him.

It was Snape with his arms crossed and an eyebrow raised.

"Sending Harry a fake friend request, in hopes to spy Dumbledore?" Snape echoed.

"No!" Dumbledore said defensively.

"Dumbledore I was watching the whole time." Snape said sternly.

"Well mind your own business, or I might cut your pay, or issue another extremely harsh punishment." Dumbledore said authoritatively.

"Dumbledore I will be forced to tell Harry about this." Snape scolded

With that Snape left, leaving a wailing Dumbledore in his midst.


	4. Chapter 4

"Hell with this techno crap, Ill reel Harry in the old fashioned way, with the imperious curse! Dumbledore mooed as he surfed the web on his wiz phone!

Later that night:

Dumbledore stood camped outside the slytherin dorm, in a tent.

Dumbledore was sleeping in his tent until he heard chatter.

Dumbledore quickly put on some briefs and a bra, and grabbed his wand.

Dumbledore saw a figure coming out of the slytherin dorm.

Dumbledore raised the wand over his head, and screamed IMPERIO!

Dumbledores curse was easily blocked and the dumbstruck asswhipe was knocked on his ass by a curse.

Dumbledore was mad, so mad he had steam coming out of his ears.

However Dumbledores rage was diminished when he saw a furious Snape.

"Dumbledore that about it, I guess ill have to ground you!" Snape hollered as he hit Dumbledore in the face with a conjured rake.

"You bitch ! " Dumbledore hissed at snape

"Hand over your wiz phone and your wand." Snape said sternly.

A pouting Dumbledore grudgingly gave up his phone and wand, and proceeded to go in a corner and curl up in a fetal position, and cry.

"Dumbledore you will get these back soon if you behave." Snape said with a stern look, as he left a screaming , and Crying Dumbledore in his midst.

Dumbledore spent the rest of night huddled in a fetal position in a corner wailing .


	5. Chapter 5

Dumbledore was pissed, so pissed. Dumbledore expressed that anger by punching a first year hufflepuff girl in the mouth, as she came to check on him because he was curled up crying in a corner .

The Hufflepuff girl was now crying as Dumbledore had punched a couple of her teeth out.

An annoyed Dumbledore went to grab his wand to finish the bitch, when he remembered that Snape had taken it.

Dumbledore then moped to his office.

Dumbledore got in his office and accessed his wiz computer .

Dumbledore took to wiz book to describe his feelings about Snape .

"Snape is a crooked bastard, the other day he threatened to get up and moon everybody, if he didn't get his way!" Dumbledore wrote as he cackled darkly to himself .

A couple of hours later Dumbledore accessed wiz book expecting to see support for his post about Snape . Instead he saw bad comments about himself.

Several comments said Dumbledore was the crook and a molesting crook, Dumbledore was called a rapist, and many other insults.

A raged Dumbledore picked up his wiz computer and threw it at the door.

Just as he threw it Minerva McGonagall came through Dumbledores door, and the wiz computer hit her square in the head, knocking her out, and down Dumbledores staircase.

Dumbledore couldn't give 2 shits about McGonagall right now. All he cared about at this moment was getting his wand and phone back.

A pissed Dumbledore marched to the dungeons to see Snape.

Dumbledore didn't knock and instead tore down the door and threw at it at a shocked potions class.

"Dumbledore you're now grounded from your wand, and your phone for a whole month!" Snape hollered as he bound Dumbledore in ropes.

"To pay for the door, you'll have to clean my potion viles for a month!" Snape added as the whole class laughed at Dumbledore."

A red embarrassed , humiliated Dumbledore was left crying like a baby again.


End file.
